for a few weeks now, i have been wanting to stay home and do yoga instead of go out and have fun.
i’ve been doing less art and more nothing.
i have been living in stillness.
not wanting to go out, not wanting to play, not wanting to make new art, not wanting to work on the new creativity kits, not wanting to put new workshops together, not wanting to take ACTION on anything. i’ve been in this space before and i know it is a space of renewal and rebirth. i know that creativity needs downtime in order to flourish. and yet this can be very difficult for me because i am impatient. there is so much i want to DO and i want to do it RIGHT NOW. but that has felt impossible lately.
well, i have been doing a little bit of art… i have been wrapping myself up in the soft and gentle healing space of my cocoon of creative journaling. i was painting and re-painting and re-painting this page. here it is after about 17 layers:
art journal page background: layers and layers of colours
doesn’t look like much but it finally felt just right. looking at it somehow made me very happy. and then a few days later it became clear and i finished it:
art journal page: totally ready to go now, and saying goodbye to the parts of me that can't come where i am going next
i get it now, what the stillness is about and what this time means for me.
recently my creative journal has been getting all filled up with really amazing images and pages that i don’t quite feel ready to share. there is new energy, new colours, new shapes, new figures, new inspiration, new words – new everything. and all of it is encouraging me to step into this new world, showing me the path into it, reminding me that i am ready.
but, in any change, no matter how positive it is, something gets left behind.
the parts of me that want to stay small.
the parts of me that want to hold onto excuses.
the parts of me that are afraid.
they can’t come where i’m going next and i can’t get there if i don’t let them go.
but these are my friends, i have lived with them for so long. saying goodbye is a bit of a process. and that’s what i have really been up to the last few weeks. letting go. getting ready to move forward, from the inside out.
i am thinking about my trip to new york last january. i spent a week soaking up inspiration – visiting art galleries, shopping, exploring, eating amazing vegan foods. i came home absolutely filled and fueled. i started this blog. i started experimenting with bringing my work online. i started doing more art. i started exploring business options. boom boomboom boom – creative explosion. traveling inspires me.
i leave for istanbul on thursday morning. i have wanted to go to turkey for as long as i can remember. the landscape, the people, the colours, the textures, the design, the coffee, the lokum, the mosques, the whirling dirvishes, the amazing underground cities, the markets… it’s a creative explosion for me just thinking about it. and then egypt, pyramids, alexandria… that part feels like a dream.
so what new directions will this trip inspire me to take?
it’s exciting to wonder.
and i will find out soon.
right now all i can do is let go of the parts that i know can’t come with me. to prepare not just for the vacation but for what comes after – when the real adventure begins.
andrea schroeder creates creativity workshops, downloadable creativity kits, art and guided meditations to support you in knowing and remembering that you are a creative being and you can create anything.
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Your soul is beautiful — You following your soul is beautiful — You are amazing and vital — even when you are in a state of pause.
turkey?!!!! oh my gosh!!!!!! that sounds like a WHOLE LOT OF SOMETHING!!!!
i am soooo excited for you that i can barely stand it! i am serious! i feel something
so big and great after reading this entry from you. breathe deep dear one, and
enjoy the ride. i send my love.
lexi thank you, i appreciate your presence in my life so much.
rachel your celebratory energy is so contagious. i am so glad i met you. horay!
Hi, Andrea! I continue to love what you’re doing here in this space. I wonder if you’ve read David Whyte? This poem seems to suit you now: http://www.panhala.net/Archive/The_Winter_of_Listening.html
I must tell you, the statements on these pages is on point. I love it and that you so freely express yourself with your art journaling.
wow cyndi thank you for that poem. it really does speak to me.
thanks so much lu! i love how powerful art journaling can be, and how we all have our unique ways of doing it.
I wish you a happy and safe trip to Istanbul. I have always wanted to see Santa (Hagia) Sofia. What a terrific structure that place is! And such a long history.
I, too, feel sometimes like I am “cocooning” and getting ready for something. I know not what yet…
I love your words – it’s so true, little parts of you can’t go on, they must be left behind in order to grow. Your message soothed my soul. Have a fabulous trip and enjoy the inspiration that traveling gifts to us lucky few.
thank you sandra. i am very excited to see all the beautiful buildings in istanbul. that is really something to come out of a cocoon for.
thank you leigh, that is lovely to hear.
your rich powerful heart is shining brightly… honouring all you are and all you will become
thank you jane. you are such a gift.
Turkey – WOW! Now that’s BIG! I hope you’ll share photos, and I can’t wait to see the art (and internal growth) this trip inspires. May you have grand adventures and soak up every bit of the sights, sounds, tastes, textures, music, scenery and culture.
What a beautiful affirmation of the creative process. It can be so hard to justify time to retreat, even when I know it’s crucial for bringing forth new ideas, new work, new life. Thanks for articulating this so well, and for sharing the art journal pages that make everything so clear!
thank you cheryl! yes i am VERY EXCITED about turkey and i’m sure to come home with lots to share.
thank you susan. it is great to meet you!
I’ll be so curious to see how this all plays out for you! The idea of letting go of everything that can’t come with you where you’re going next feels very powerful. Lately, I’ve been letting go of a lot of physical objects that can’t come where I’m going next. It has been difficult and delicious at the same time.
Enjoy Turkey! I hope you have a marvelous time.
thanks pink. i am so looking forward to what comes next…
Your words are so inspiring… you’ve done it again. Do you know the Guy Finley’s book about letting go ? I love them. Here’s a photo of the art journal page you inspire me… Letting go Fear and open your heart
http://eveil-creatif.over-blog.com/article-lacher-prise-ouvrir-son-coeur-50505320.html
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