I think I chose that path because I used to be more comfortable talking about other people than about myself. This has changed! (Although I do still get excited by what others are doing).

In retrospect I think I have had a bit of a breakthrough today: I now realise a time when I was making these big career choices was a time I put myself out there in many ways – creative and otherwise. I got crushed in various relationships for ‘being myself’ around that time and it affected me a lot. I also experienced failures in a big way for the first time, too. I think back then it seemed a much safer choice not to share my own personal vision and unique way of creating and being. I lost my creative mojo and moved into avoidance. I have totally grown past that now but I can see very clearly that those early experiences had an impact on my willingness to share and the risks – they feel bigger perhaps than they really are for me today.

it seems like all you need is some more time to play around with all of this – how exciting is that?! i’m really looking forward to seeing more of your unique flavour of creativity.

it could be that talking about others and being a cheerleader in that kind of way is your unique way of expressing. though if that was the case you probably wouldn’t be feeling inspired to do something different.

Where is the challenge: I think there is a fear of self-promotion in there.
and your comment about my own unique flavour of creativity – maybe when I articulate better for myself what that IS then I will find ways of describing it so that others would get it or appreciate it.
I realise the writing I am known for is entirely about other people and businesses. This has been a way of sidestepping the issue of what I myself have to offer directly, perhaps.

that desire in you that wants to do this is coming from such an important deep heart part of you. it’s important to listen to it and also to remember that that desire to express doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with a desire to fit in with the outside world – in terms of gaining recognition or generating income. maybe if you can let go of those aspects of it and express the beauty in your just to express the beauty in you, you will find the inspiration and motivation to keep doing it. and often when we let go of external outcomes like recognition and financial success is when they actually start to come to us instead of us having to work so hard to get to them.

helen, what part of putting yourself out there is a challenge? it could be the vulnerability or the fear of failure or the fear of success, or not believing enough in your own creative genius… if you can identify what it is for you, then you can work with it and putting yourself out there gets easier.

Scylliane – thanks for your comments. I actually think children are a really hard audience to write for :-) Definitely food for thought though.

Helen : Maybe you could consider explaining what you are an expert on to children in a book. This would lead you to use your creativity, why not drawing yourself the illustrations… and think about all this expert concerns in a fresh way. I wonder what domain it is.

My personal problem is to go to work again while or after having cut off antidepressor. The matter is I hate teaching to children who don’t listen to me and don’t know about authority. It doesn’t come to me, and I’ve been trying to teach math for 5 years. It’s all the more frustrating than some pupils like me and would like a better atmosphere to work as noise, noise, noise. I’m fed up with that. I’m considering learning everything I can to be enrolled in the library section of education. But it’s a long way.

i think that is a fantastic question.

my first thought is that it’s not as much if a radical change as a deepening and growth. you are building upon the writing skills you’ve developed, as you open and grow as a person, your work begins to express more depth and heart and so it feels natural that you would move into something more personal and heartfelt.

in terms of going from expert to beginner… i would think that’s going to trigger any places where you are using the “expert” as kind of a “self-esteem crutch”. you get to discover – who are you without the expert label? the way i see it this can only support you in being your authentic self.

is there a way to do both styles of writing? does it have to be one of the other? would you feel more comfortable using a pen name for your new work so it wouldn’t be complicated?